Sunday, May 10, 2009

Thoughts on Mother's Day

Here is a poem I found that speaks volumes to me. Someday, we will get to celebrate Mother's (and Father's) Day. Until that day comes, we hold on to the truth that God does have a plan and will hold us tight in His loving embrace.

There are women who become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

3 comments:

Margo said...

Hello, my wife and I are friends with Holly and Justin Noble and I just happened to click to your blog off theirs.
I see that ya'll are going through the valley of infertility and can emphasize with your journey. We spent years on that same journey seeking God's clarity and being frustrated. God heard our cries and answered us abundantly and in a completely unexpected way. We are now parents of twins boys(8 months) that we adopted on the day they were born.
If you have ever considered that path and want more info let Holly/Justin know and they can send along our blog info/password.

Best wishes in your journey.

Dan

NANNY said...

You will be a wonderful mother. Praying for your journey-Nancy

H Noble said...

I'm behind on reading Abbey but was thinking of you that day especially.

Love you much, miss you terribly, and I know without a doubt you will be a wonderful mother too!