Blessings

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ... By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
Hebrews 11:1,3 (NIV)

How awesome the quote of the day is one of the verses I have often clung to in this journey!

I have recently started two new devotionals. It never really dawned on me to look for devotionals focused on infertility until I was talking to Cathy (my co-worker) one day and she mentioned her devotional focused on battling cancer. It was like God hit me on the head and said "DUH!!". So thanks, Cathy, for the idea because I have found two really great resources.

In reading the devotionals this weekend, I came away with two key things. One, to give myself the right to say no to events and not feel guilty. I actually did this over the weekend and it felt great to make a decision that benefited me instead of one that would have stressed me out. It wasn't easy to not feel guilty but every time a negative thought came in my head I would push it out and move on. Needless to say, I feel great about my decision. Who knew!

The second idea I came away with, was letting people know specifically how they help you through the journey. I had the pleasure of spending an evening with a dear friend this weekend. We ate dinner with our husbands and then went back to their place for conversation and a board game. All I can say is it refreshed my soul to spend time with them. It was the first time in a while I truly laughed from my soul about our journey and just life in general. You see, my friend "gets it". This is some of what she understands:

my need to be treated the same as before I was "infertile".
my need to laugh, cry and yell all at the same time.
my need to be listened to.
my need to be angry at God in one breath and in the next praise Him for the journey.
my need to never be told "I know what you are going through".
my need to have choices about going and doing things that my be painful.
my need for a short note just saying, "You are on my heart lately".
my need for advise only if I ask for it.
my need to hear that this journey isn't fair, but here we are and we must make the best of it.
my need to laugh about all the stupid/hurtful things people say and do throughout the journey.

I never in a million years could do this journey without people like this. I thank God daily for placing me around such amazing supportive people. We are truly blessed!

One Down...

and countless more to go. Shots that is. We got the green light today to go ahead and begin the meds to do IVF. I started the Lupron shots. So far I've decided that if the hot flashes continue, I'm boycotting menopause! Yup, that's right. One shot and I'm already getting the side effects. This can't be good! Maybe Joel will finally be happy because I won't be complaining the house is like Antarctica. I will do the Lupron shots until I'm told to stop and will be adding Follistim shots in the next two weeks. Please continue to pray for our mental well being and for a minimum of side effects from the meds.

Plan B....or not

Before you read, please check out this video. It is the same one referenced in my last post. Your life will not be the same after watching it.

It is pretty obvious why this video speaks so closely to me. After all, this whole entire journey is my "Plan B". In my head, we were never supposed to travel this far down the road of infertility. It was never supposed to take this many doctor visits, this many shots, this many prayers, this many emotional roller-coaster rides. To me, this all falls into Plan B. However, for God this had always been "Plan A". He knew way ahead of time this would be our journey. He led us down paths that would prep us for the long journey to parenthood. He paired Joel and I together so that we would financially be able to manage IVF. This has ALWAYS been His plan. He knows the perfect time, the perfect day to give us the addition we want so badly. This knowledge doesn't make it easy, but it does make it worth sticking to.

We are passing a milestone today. Today marks the first year anniversary of our very first shot of infertility drugs. You may wonder how I remember this. It really is quite simple. We were in the parking lot at Fair Park ready to go in and see "Wicked". I'd been dying to see the play and we had bought tickets in January. Little did we know then we'd be sitting in the parking lot administering shots. Funny how a year later we are just finishing up our prep and classes to proceed with IVF.

Speaking of prep, we have completed our orientation class and have learned that I will be taking it really easy for two weeks after the procedure. We have also completed our medicine training. Joel seemed a little too eager to learn how to give me estrogen shots! I may be calling on some of you who are more skilled than he if I can't stand having him poke me (or if he is out of town)!! We are now waiting for the end of May. Since we are trying to time IVF for when I'm out of school we will not begin doing anything until the end of May. That means we will be looking at doing IVF around mid-June.

It is very hard not to get our hopes up and I know that will only get harder. So until our next update, please pray that we will find peace in knowing God is walking with us and has the perfect "Plan A" set out before us. Have a great week and until next time...God Bless.